It's been 2 weeks, so let's see how it went...
The brief overview of results
So far, so good.
As you can see, there was very little crying to be had! There is actually less afternoon/pre-bedtime crying and grumpiness with his new sleep routine than when I was nursing/rocking him to sleep, so there is no way that I can say that the sleep training was hard on him overall. I think there was no fuss from him the first night because I nursed him too far into sleep, but he did put himself to sleep the following nights after waking alone.
After getting the monitor, it appears that he does the same amount of twitching or rolling his head back and forth before falling asleep (20 minutes at least), except the difference is that he doesn't complain. When I was in the room because his cradle was next to my side of the bed, ANY twitching whatsoever would make him wake and scream unless he was in my arms being actively rocked... and if I set him down in the crib when he was not deeply enough asleep, I'd have to start the half hour of rocking over again. The result is that I get so much more sleep now. He does too.
Our new normal.
A typical night is that we do the bedtime routine, I nurse him until he's groggy, then I lay him down... it takes 30-45 minutes. I say goodnight, turn on the monitors and leave, and then without crying he rubs his eyes or sucks his thumb for up to 20 minutes to put himself to sleep. He wakes at least twice at night with fussing noises, and will either cry for up to 2 minutes per waking and go back to sleep (because it's not time to eat yet) or I go in and feed him. He wakes in the morning babbling to himself contentedly, and full of smiles.
IT IS SO AWESOME.
The video monitor is a great help, since my going in to see him makes him cry more... we can put him to bed, turn on the monitor, and watch him sweetly put himself to sleep while we eat dinner. It is weird having baby-free time for the first time in 5 months, but also a relief because I can decompress at the end of the day.
In the past 2 weeks we have also gradually changed his bedtime (the moment of falling asleep) from 10:45 to 7:45-8ish. Starting the bedtime routine at 7:15 and sleeping by 8pm seems to be pretty optimal for him, causing a wake-up of 8ish in the morning plus a day of babbling and easy playing until the afternoon when he needs a nap to refresh him. The sleep training has been very healthy for his general happiness.
We're also working on naps... generally he gets a 40-minute nap around 3pm, and I'm trying to add in one about 2-3 hours after he wakes in the morning too but he's a bit more resistant. Wood blinds and heavy curtains have definitely helped, since he sleeps far more easily when it's as dark as possible.
More sleep = better weight gain?
There was also a strange phenomenon starting late on the third night... Torin began drinking from both breasts at nearly every meal. From his first month, he's always been a one-sided eater no matter what I tried. Now all of a sudden he is hungry and awake enough to want both, and still eating every 2 hours during the day as usual. He's also been gaining a percentile of weight every 3 days or so (aka, slightly gaining faster than average) now.
Is this because growth hormone is released in sleep, and now that he's sleeping more and for longer chunks of time, he is suddenly in a growth spurt? The doctor says he's skinny 'cause he is in the 50th percentile for weight but 100th for length, so I wouldn't mind him getting a little chunkier.
A note for the future.
In retrospect, I should have done the sleep training far earlier, since it would have benefited us both and I would not have reached a breaking point in soul-deep sleep deprivation. I would have started the 6-week lead-in to the sleep training when he was 6 weeks old, and then done this method of sleep training at 3 months (3 months is also when his pediatrician says it's ok).
Torin was so easy to train either because he has the right personality for it, or because he was developmentally ready, or because the right preparation helped, but this blog post is really for the next kid, to remind me how easy it can be.
The brief overview of results
- Night 1: 0 minutes crying
- 2: 15 minutes... first time he's ever slept 10 hours total in a night!! First time I've slept 4 hours in a row in the last 2+ months, it feels sooooo good.
- 3: 9.5 minutes
- 4: 7 minutes
- 5: 22 minutes (started stretching meals slightly)
- 6: 0 minutes!
- 7: 5 minutes
- 8: 0 minutes!
- 9: 11 minutes... found him completely out of his covers with his arm caught between the crib bars.
- 10: 21 minutes... after going in to find him wedged very tightly in a corner (with his neck bent and arm through the bars and no way to get out) and realizing this was probably why he cried so much, the guilt made me order a video monitor. Much peace of mind has been had since receiving it.
- 11: 5 minutes
- ... and so far up through day 14, still no crying at night. Naps, he still cries from 2-6 minutes each. Last night he hit a record of going almost 6 hours between meals, which is my nighttime goal.
Sweet sweet silence and baby sleep.
So far, so good.
As you can see, there was very little crying to be had! There is actually less afternoon/pre-bedtime crying and grumpiness with his new sleep routine than when I was nursing/rocking him to sleep, so there is no way that I can say that the sleep training was hard on him overall. I think there was no fuss from him the first night because I nursed him too far into sleep, but he did put himself to sleep the following nights after waking alone.
After getting the monitor, it appears that he does the same amount of twitching or rolling his head back and forth before falling asleep (20 minutes at least), except the difference is that he doesn't complain. When I was in the room because his cradle was next to my side of the bed, ANY twitching whatsoever would make him wake and scream unless he was in my arms being actively rocked... and if I set him down in the crib when he was not deeply enough asleep, I'd have to start the half hour of rocking over again. The result is that I get so much more sleep now. He does too.
Our new normal.
A typical night is that we do the bedtime routine, I nurse him until he's groggy, then I lay him down... it takes 30-45 minutes. I say goodnight, turn on the monitors and leave, and then without crying he rubs his eyes or sucks his thumb for up to 20 minutes to put himself to sleep. He wakes at least twice at night with fussing noises, and will either cry for up to 2 minutes per waking and go back to sleep (because it's not time to eat yet) or I go in and feed him. He wakes in the morning babbling to himself contentedly, and full of smiles.
IT IS SO AWESOME.
The video monitor is a great help, since my going in to see him makes him cry more... we can put him to bed, turn on the monitor, and watch him sweetly put himself to sleep while we eat dinner. It is weird having baby-free time for the first time in 5 months, but also a relief because I can decompress at the end of the day.
In the past 2 weeks we have also gradually changed his bedtime (the moment of falling asleep) from 10:45 to 7:45-8ish. Starting the bedtime routine at 7:15 and sleeping by 8pm seems to be pretty optimal for him, causing a wake-up of 8ish in the morning plus a day of babbling and easy playing until the afternoon when he needs a nap to refresh him. The sleep training has been very healthy for his general happiness.
We're also working on naps... generally he gets a 40-minute nap around 3pm, and I'm trying to add in one about 2-3 hours after he wakes in the morning too but he's a bit more resistant. Wood blinds and heavy curtains have definitely helped, since he sleeps far more easily when it's as dark as possible.
More sleep = better weight gain?
There was also a strange phenomenon starting late on the third night... Torin began drinking from both breasts at nearly every meal. From his first month, he's always been a one-sided eater no matter what I tried. Now all of a sudden he is hungry and awake enough to want both, and still eating every 2 hours during the day as usual. He's also been gaining a percentile of weight every 3 days or so (aka, slightly gaining faster than average) now.
Is this because growth hormone is released in sleep, and now that he's sleeping more and for longer chunks of time, he is suddenly in a growth spurt? The doctor says he's skinny 'cause he is in the 50th percentile for weight but 100th for length, so I wouldn't mind him getting a little chunkier.
A note for the future.
In retrospect, I should have done the sleep training far earlier, since it would have benefited us both and I would not have reached a breaking point in soul-deep sleep deprivation. I would have started the 6-week lead-in to the sleep training when he was 6 weeks old, and then done this method of sleep training at 3 months (3 months is also when his pediatrician says it's ok).
Torin was so easy to train either because he has the right personality for it, or because he was developmentally ready, or because the right preparation helped, but this blog post is really for the next kid, to remind me how easy it can be.
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