Sleep Training Plan: A mix of graduated extinction (Ferber) and no-cry methods

Knowing what I know now, I would have started the plan at 6 weeks of age and then sleep-trained by 3 months (the earliest that the pediatrician recommends), instead of starting at 3.5 months when the horrific 4-month sleep regression hit and then sleep-training at 5 months.  I could have saved myself from SO MUCH sleep deprivation.  I also would have had a video monitor from day 1 so that we could have avoided the night he wedged his head in the crib corner and cried longer than he otherwise would have. 


For the actual sleep training results, see this post.  He got into the swing of things after 4 nights, and never cried more than 22 minutes in a whole night.  By 2 weeks his bedtime, eating schedule, and naps were nearly ideal with no crying at night, and surprisingly he began steadily gaining weight percentiles for the first time.  Thank you for the request to post this info, I had no idea so many people would be interested.



The prep work:

I read a ton of books and online material and mixed in some science to try to develop a plan that felt kinder than tossing him in a room to cry it out.  It was really hard to piece together all the info in the midst of sleep deprivation because my eyes would cross after reading a single paragraph, and I really wish I'd done the research while I was still pregnant!  Torin suddenly couldn't be put down "drowsy yet awake" anymore after 3 months old, when the "4-month sleep regression" hit hard (waking hourly), so I was desperate enough to slog though all the sleep methods.  He began the formal sleep-training exactly 1 week shy of 5 months. 


Here's the plan!


6 weeks before sleep training:

• started using white noise, a loud fan 
• started weaning off the swaddle (one arm out one night, then the other arm the next, until we were doing 2 arms) until he was in a warm sleep sack a week before sleep training
• made his crib fun: lots of tickles/play after each diaper change, plus a long mirror so he could do tummy time with his reflection buddy 
• eased his bedtime earlier (to 9:30 from 1am) with the help of nursing in total darkness
• tried to get him to nap ANY way possible at 10am and 2pm... used a swing friends had just given us. He usually only naps one of those times each day. Still working on this.

3 weeks before sleep training:

• at least 30 minutes spent outdoors before noon so the morning light could help his circadian rhythm.  For some reason this was the hardest to do!  Something about getting out of the house before noon when you're bone-tired just feels impossible. 
• let him toss and turn and mumble at night if he wasn't crying so he could try to get used to putting himself back to sleep. This kid can toss for an hour at a time. 
• weaned him from eating every 2 hours to every 3-4 at night by rocking instead of nursing to sleep right away (eventual goal: 6 hours). 
• started a better nighttime routine involving a book, then diaper change, then baby stretches how my sister demonstrated (he giggles like mad), then massage from toes to head with a calming voice (I try to hypnotize him, haha), then brushing him from head to toe with my hands as I breathe out and picture his wakeful energy draining out his toes (sounds weird, but it calms him), then nursing to sleep in total darkness.

Day 1 of sleep training:

• first night in his crib, using a sound monitor to hear when he wakes. Brought over his fan for white noise, kept room dark.  (Ended up getting a video monitor after finding him wedged in the crib corner one night... in retrospect I would do this from day 1.)
• put him to bed a half hour after he usually falls asleep (pretended the time change didn't happen) so he's in his sleepy zone. Specifically made sure he was awake after nursing so that he was putting himself to sleep instead of relying on me. 
• was going to do Ferber (check on him at 3 minutes, then 5, 8, then every 10 minutes until he stopped crying)... but didn't need to yet.  I do not think he was awake enough after each nursing.
• I'm going to do the naps in the swing until a week from now, then transfer him to the crib once he's sure the crib is for sleeping.
• I put a $10 blue light filter on my ipad (where I record his sleeping and eating notes) to help my body produce melatonin at night.  My computer has the f.lux program which is fantastic for this, but I can't put it on the ipad without jailbreaking the device.  This might indirectly help Torin too.

Following days of sleep training:

• Start inching bedtime upward until 6:30-8pmish, moving 15 minutes every day or two.  His ideal bedtime should reveal itself when he is happy most of the day (aka, not over-tired), going to sleep easily, getting in his naps, and waking on his own between at a stable time which should also end up somewhere between 6:30-8am.  (We are at a good place after 9 days of sleep training, 7:15 bedtime routine, asleep by 7:45-8, 8ish wake time, happy baby all day with 1-2 naps.  Might stay at this later bedtime because 1) Ryan gets to see Torin before bed most nights that he's home, and 2) I like to sleep in.)
• Put him down more and more awake until nursing isn't a sleep association, so it doesn't have to be the last step of the bedtime routine.  (By 2 weeks of training, I don't nurse right before a nap and he goes down mostly easily.)
• Wean him down to eating only every 6 hours at night.  (We are at about 5 to 5.5 hours by 2 weeks of training)