I don't talk about stuff like this very often, 'cause... the feels. Too many feels to feel. Feels make me want pie.
The due date of the twins was 3 years ago today. Since then, mother's day has felt strange because of that... I would have been a mother for the holiday, and I have felt like a mom on the inside since then, but nobody else sees it or acknowledges it. I've been an invisible childless mom.
That said, due to my odd belief system, one of the twins is currently reincarnated in my belly, seemingly happy as could be that it's finally going to join us. It's doing amazingly well and is growing large enough that people I see on the hike trail are noticing. Here I am with the pregnancy practically halfway over, and someone has already wished me a happy mother's day. This time it feels more like a holiday symbolic of hope and contented belly-rubbing. With pie. Baby needs pie.
The contradiction of the two concepts is really weird to think about.
Here's the pie I promised!
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