Burnout Recovery: Part 3, Nourishing The Spirit

Over the last 2 weeks, I've covered the plan for the body and the brain.  Now it's time to focus on what will reintroduce that spark of inspired energy to life.

~  A mini-update to the previous post:  I'm now reading "8 Keys to Safe Trauma Recovery" by Babette Rothschild at the request of my primary therapist (she says that especially the past year at work counts as a traumatic event causing PTSD symptoms, yes, it has been that bad).  I'm also reading "Cooked" by Michael Pollan at the request of my group therapist who thinks I'd enjoy it (he is right!), since I love cooking/fermentation and am on a quest to heal my digestive system.  ~


7:  Take a freaking break, and stop hoarding vacation time.

Everybody was shocked to find that I had accumulated over the maximum of 240 vacation hours allowed at work.  I was confused by the reaction... besides the mandatory week of vacation during Christmas, hadn't I been turned down for a real vacation for a few years?  If I can't take time off during the semester because it is too busy and we are short-handed, and I can't take time off during winter or summer "breaks" because that is when all the prep for the next semester and training of new employees happens (or when I have to cover for a coworker being gone), then when can I squeeze it in?

And then, I was also saving vacation time intentionally for when I became pregnant, so that I could spend more time at home with a baby or leave work earlier.  This is kind of silly, considering that the end goal was to stay at home after having kids anyway.

I think this is a case of "you can't take it to the grave."  Vacation doesn't do me any good if I am not using it.  It also turns out that talking with HR can quickly change the tune of those who don't want you to leave work.

I now have 1.5 weeks off planned for August, and the entire Thanksgiving week, and will plug in days here and there over the next few months for a bit of refreshment.  This is a LOT compared to what I'm used to.  I have a feeling our next destination will be the beach!

The husband and the puppy at Dillon Beach.  

Nothing says freedom like the open sky and open sand.  And the chasing of seagulls.

8:  Have easy, clear goals.

If you are mired in the day-to-day grind and things feel hopeless, I am told that the cure is having both short-term and long-term fun/inspiring goals to look forward to.

• Short term:
• Implement ALL of the Burnout Recovery Experiment.  
• Plan the August Vacation, and weekend mini-vacations.
• Teach the puppy new tricks.  She is pretty darn smart, and the parents are already impressed (she rings the bell when she needs to go outside).  We are currently working on how to bark on command.
• Wrap my job up into a tidy package to hand over to someone else.
• Prepare for life after employment.  I actually can't stop planning for it... you'd think it was a zombie apocalypse or something.  A zombie apocalypse with a disco ball, peppy music, really fun hats, and Klingon bat'leths.

• Long term:  
• Leave the workforce for a while.
• Finish moving in (did I mention we moved a year and a half ago?), and clean out the garage to set up a mead, cider, and beer-making station.
• Flex my crafting skills and try my hand at starting an Etsy store.
• Excel at domestic goddessry.  Deeply impress my husband with the deliciousness of the meals and the welcoming joyful atmosphere of the home.  This is a bit of spiritual refreshment for everybody, as I am not the only one with a rough schedule.

As you can imagine, these goals are keeping me focused on the positives in the future. 


9:  Do 3 things every day that are fun or spiritually refreshing. 

Normally they say to do 1 thing, but let's be honest, this is some intensive recovery that I am planning on here.   What do I find to be healing for my spirit?

• Switching into Fun Pants (otherwise known as yoga pants) at the end of the day, and letting my hair down.
• Gardening, hiking, and otherwise getting out into nature.
• Reading, blogging, and researching random bits of useless knowledge.
• Meditation, prayer, and keeping (battery-operated) candles lit on my desk to remind me to tend my inner fire.
• Hanging out with the husband, playing with the puppy, caring for the fish tanks.

 Shrimp zen.

This is gonna be different for everybody. 


10:  Reach out.  Avoid hermitude.

If your levels of burn-out are anything like mine, your social life has gone completely out of commission. 

We've lived in this new house for a year and a half, and I must confess that I don't even know my neighbor's names.  I am definitely going to have to remedy this, if I am going to be spending most of my time at home in the nearish future.  Otherwise I can see myself standing out on the lawn in a straw hat and overalls, waving my trowel and yelling at all the "whippersnappers" that pass too close to the house.

A puppy is a great help here for me... if she wasn't going stir-crazy for socialization, there'd be no way I could drag my behind out there to the dog park.  She and I have begun regular doggy dates with other like-minded people there, and we visit her breeder for weekly training classes.

I am rekindling dear friendships that have begun to fade.  I also could stand to meet some new people.
So... *poke*
Hi!


What nourishes your spirit?

Burnout Recovery: Part 2, Nourishing The Mind

Last week, I covered the steps I've been implementing to set myself up for success.  Now, it's time to focus on the brain!


4:  Meditation of the mindfulness type.

30 minutes of mindfulness mediation can actually change your brain structure in just 8 weeks.  No, I am serious, a study was done*!

I have meditated since grade school, but mostly of the "guided imagery" type.  Only recently have I begun mindfulness meditation in earnest.  It is not as easy as it looks, and I am not an expert yet, so I will direct you here as a starting point. 

The desired result is that the nonjudgemental observation of thoughts helps drive home the reality that thoughts are just things (often untrue things), and then truly living life in the moment will be possible.  Ever notice that you say things to yourself that you would never say to a friend, because it is false and hurtful?  Or notice that you spend your time obsessing over the future or the past?  If not, just try mindfulness meditation, and implement the skills you learn into daily life, and it may shock you.

Try not to believe the least flattering angle that your mind drifts toward.

... for example, my calf is not really this big.  It is just the ANGLE!  I am not embarrassed...

5:  Seek medical help.

I got tested for every malady and allergy under the sun.  The peace of mind that comes from knowing an anxiety attack is not a heart attack... well, it's priceless.  I also fixed a rickets-level vitamin D deficiency, and am having a surgery next month to fix a minor problem... both things I would not have discovered without extensive testing, and both things that had been causing me anxiety.

We're pulling out the big guns here.  I tend to do things to the extreme, so when I say I'm doing therapy, I mean 5 hours a week of the stuff.  Over the past several months, I have learned a lot of coping mechanisms, stopped having full-blown panic attacks, and ironed out several issues that have been bothering me for years.  Work stressors are the only things that seem to be lingering, but cognitive behavioral therapy has brought me pretty darn far.

I have also been doing weekly community acupuncture.  Community acupuncture is far more affordable at $15 per session, and the sessions can last as long as you want (they even encourage napping!).  I originally began going after hearing lots of testimonials about improved fertility, but I stayed because of the unintended side-effect of stress relief.  To me, it feels like the endorphins one gets from a really great jog, except without the physical stimulation.  It's like a big dose of serenity, and I don't care that acupuncture doesn't make sense to my logical side.  Whatever works!


6: Solve the problems, or let them go.

Not every problem can be solved.  Which bugs the heck out of me.  Complicated issues are hell on a perfectionist.

Anxiety and nightmares are my body's way of telling me, "Whoa there, something is very wrong.  I'm not sure what it is, and I can't be bothered to figure it out."  Very often, I don't know what it is either... until I realize it is the thing I am avoiding, the thing that was staring me right in the face.  Procrastinators be warned, the quickest way out of it is to strike at the heart of the problem and find a solution. 

To let things go, I am embracing a grateful attitude.  When you have what feels like a really big problem, sometimes comparing it to a worst-case scenario can be a nice reality check.  I can always be grateful that I had a hot shower today, a full belly, clean clothes, and that if I smile at someone they will smile back.  In light of that, it is easier to let problems go, at least for a few hours.


How do you keep your brain-gremlins under control?



(Part 3 of the Burnout Recovery Experiment comes next week!)

* science rules.

Tomato Tally

In the past 4 weeks, we've harvested 209 tomatoes!

• Sunsugar tomatoes (cherry size):  178
• Early Girl (medium):  14
• Lemon Boy (large):  17 
• Champion (?):  0
• Yellow pear (cherry size):  0 (dead)

Here is our first mini harvest, from June 21st:

From the left you have white chard, red chard, early girl tomatoes, a yellow papaya squash, 

sunsugar tomatoes, and oregano.  Below are wild chives and garlic greens.

I have never had such a huge production of tomatoes... but then, I've never had the right combination of heat/light/fertile soil either.  We've eaten at least a little tomato every single day since the first harvest, and the plants show no signs of slowing yet.  The Lemon Boy is a monster and has taken over 3 tomato cages so far.

Lemon Boy:  A pretty accurate name

Will I let all this gardening success go to my head?  You bet!  At the very least, it's giving me a lot of inspiration to plan next year's garden.

I've also taken cuttings of the Lemon Boy and Sunsugar and planted them in another raised bed, and I have a very healthy cutting of Sunsugar growing in a pot.  I intend to repot it into something larger soon, and then bring it indoors to the solarium when the weather gets cold, to see how long I can extend tomato season.

What have you planted that makes you feel like a superstar gardener?

Burnout Recovery: Part 1, Nourishing the Body

The body is the foundation, so that is the obvious place to start.  If one of these things are out of whack for me, it really does throw everything else off.


1:  Sleep.

As a night owl, insomniac, and light sleeper, this is my hugest hurdle.  It is the alligator under my bed, waiting to devour my feet in the night.  There are a few things that have helped me the most:

• Pretend that bedtime is an hour earlier.  I am not sure how it takes me so long to get ready for bed, but between the shower, feeding the fish, taking out the trash, and brushing the puppy's teeth, I always end up surprised how late it's become.

• Add stretching to the nighttime routine.  The silence of laying in bed magnifies those aches and pains, so it's better to ease them out before getting into bed.  A foam roller can really help with this.  Nothing says frustration like being exhausted but too uncomfortable to sleep! 

• Put F.lux on the computer.  Ever notice that most digital alarm clocks have red numbers?  Blue light makes the brain think it is daytime, which keeps you more awake.  F.lux reduces the amount of blue light and brightness the computer monitor emits at night, and it syncs up to the actual dawn/dusk times for where you live.  The change in lighting happens over an hour, so you don't even notice that it is changing as dusk falls.  I have been using this program for a few years, and it has added almost an hour to the amount I can sleep at night.

• Consider taking magnesium at night.  When the body makes a lot of stress hormones, it uses up magnesium to break them down, so times of high stress could stand a little magnesium supplementation.  I take 1 rounded tsp of Natural Calm every night, which is 40% of the recommended daily amount for magnesium.  If I miss it several days in a row, I notice that I don't sleep as deeply, and all the little things irritate me to no end and the shoulder knots are killer.  Magnesium oxide is rather hard for the body to assimilate, so I'd recommend trying some form of magnesium citrate.

• Meditate to sleep.  Having nothing to focus on sends my brain into overdrive.  I've heard that insomniacs are smart because an intelligent brain is constantly thinking, so let's just pretend that the crazy spirals of thought at bedtime mean that we are geniuses.  In any case, I need something to focus on, and meditation allows me to focus on my breath or on letting the thoughts pass, and it is far easier to quiet my brain down.  

Knocked the heck out.  Stormy must have meditated too hard.

2:  Exercise.

I know, I know, it is everybody's least favorite topic.

My doctor recently read a study that said the optimal level of exercise for mental health was 30 uninterrupted minutes per day, 120 heartbeats per minute.  According to this method, I was doing too much exercise at too low of an intensity, and my 15-minute higher intensity bouts didn't count. 

Now I just focus on getting that exact amount (well, on most days... my muscles are still working up to the higher intensity), and after 3 weeks I am beginning to notice that it is starting to work.  The results:  more motivation to exercise, slightly more energy in the mornings.  It's a start!

Lately I have been reading on the exercise bike (which is smack dab in the middle of the living room so I can't avoid it no matter how tired I may feel) and then weight-lifting briskly, or swimming, or taking the puppy for walks interjected with sort spurts of jogging.


3:  Eat well.  

Hello, my name is Kendra, and I am naturally a stress-eater.

The best way for me to avoid all the carby, fatty, sugar-rush foods that I crave when under pressure is to two-fold:  don't keep them in the house, and don't eat out or enjoy some wine unless I'm socializing.  These two rules must be doing something right, because I've lost 95 pounds over the past 8-9 years.

I use whole convenience foods to beat those cravings:  large carrots dipped in a little almond/peanut butter, which fulfill both crunch and sweet desires, and hard boiled eggs with garlic salt for the salt and protein needs.  We've also started juicing veggies (ginger makes any juice taste amazing) sometimes for that afternoon slump, and making sure there is a healthy fat in every meal and snack.

A carrot flower.  Healthy, yet my brother was not too excited about this gift. 

We've also progressively eliminated chemicals/preservatives in our foods, both at the recommendation of my doctor (I'm a little chemically sensitive), and because we're trying to start a family.  A chemical-free womb is a happier womb?  Naw, that is a horrible tagline.

Two months ago I went on a sort of elimination diet, a modified version of Paleo, to see if anything affected me, and primarily it is foods with visible molds, and a bit of dairy and wheat.  So I am minimizing those as well... not as easy as it sounds, especially when a good roquefort cheese and crackers would hit the spot perfectly, right at this very moment.  I am not being super strict with it, since that would actually increase the stress levels.


What do you do to build your foundation against stress? 


(Stay tuned for Part 2 of the Burnout Recovery Experiment next week!)

Burnout Recovery Experiment

I'm a scientist at heart, and love planning and testing and tweaking to get the best results.  So how could I start this whole "new path" without a specific plan for rehabilitation? 
 
Over the past few years I have been slowly implementing elements of change into my life, though not necessarily all at the same time.  Over the next few months I am going to integrate all of these changes at once and see what results I get.  It'll be like using a fire hose to rinse my hands... a little excessive.  But hey, I will do anything for science. 

... science*... muahahahaha...

For the record, I did start this plan 3 weeks ago (June 23rd, 2013), and I am already feeling minor improvement.

Here's to experimentation!


Part 1:  Nourishing The Body

Part 2:  Nourishing The Mind  (coming July 23rd)

Part 3:  Nourishing The Spirit  (coming July 30th)

Part 4:  The Results  (coming soon...ish)



What has helped you recover from stressful times?  I would love to hear some of your stress-bustin' tips, and I might even add them in!


*yep, this is actual science that I have scienced.

A New Path

In 2014, I am leaving the workforce to rehabilitate my health and take care of my family and house.  I'll be trying my hand at keeping our lifestyle comfortable, through making some income from home and exploring the limits of frugality.

After working in the field of science for 11 years, I am not going to be able to stop the scientist within!  I am always experimenting, keeping records, and fine-tuning the mundane things in life, and this blog will be the perfect outlet for that energy.

A few people have asked what I will do, what I will be.  Housewife just doesn't have that special ring to it, and doesn't describe my ambitions very well.  What about chef, homemaker, handywoman, financial planner, bellydancer, barber, laundress, manager of family happiness, gardener, fledgeling athlete, brewmistress, healer, budding Etsy maven, and zen master?  Is there a word that rolls all of those into one?  "Aspiring domestic goddess" sounds close.

Maybe no label is needed.

Me and my partner in life, headed down the path together to something new.

I'm sure I'll discover a lot on this journey, and I'd like to share it here with you.  So stop by, settle down with a cup of tea, say hello, and share something.

(Posts may be a bit sporadic until I am no longer working 12-hour days, so feel free to subscribe via email or join on Google+ at the top of the page if you don't want to miss anything.)