I had another partnerless prenatal class, and this one was for breastfeeding. For this class, about 30% of the women were there alone, which was a drastic change from me being practically the only single lady in the room.
The next experiment.
When we introduced ourselves this time, I wanted to try something more subtle. I didn't even mention my husband. I just introduced myself, and said that "we" were due Oct 10th.
Zero reaction from the class, for the entire session. Nothing good (as when Ryan's "overseas"), nothing bad (as when he's "at work"). The single ladies after me did the exact same thing, leaving out mention of a partner but saying "we," and I noticed no discrimination towards them.
Conclusion: the response may have been neutral because so many women were partnerless in this female-centered class.
There's just one more class left to attend!
Heroic, my ass.
There was one thing that did change someone's perceptions of me. I asked the teacher for tips on pumping, since I am planning on nursing and also pumping for a friend's baby (said friend is on a medication that is not compatible with nursing). The guy sitting directly in front of me turned around several times to say extremely awkward stuff like "You're a hero!" or "What you're doing is really amazing." You'd think I'd just defused a bomb that was about to kill hundreds of people.
Um, thanks, but I don't even know if I can make that much milk yet, and even if I can, it's not heroic. I'm pretty much donating milk because
- On a spiritual level it feels like it would somehow balance my previous inability-to-stay-pregnant pain to be able to lessen someone else's inability-to-nurse pain.
- I can't give blood despite wanting to ('cause I go into shock after losing 1 cup and they toss my half-donation, and then I'm dizzy for 2 days), and donor milk is much more rare than blood so maybe that balances things out too.
- Donor milk through a bank is ridiculously expensive (and pasteurized!) and nobody should have to pay $100/day for it.
Just visit kellymom.com instead.
As a side note, the class was completely underwhelming. The two of us who asked for pumping advice were pretty much shut down with a "this class doesn't really cover that, it's about breastfeeding" (even though there is no pumping class, and lots of women there wanted to know more about pumping due to a planned return to work). The lady dismissed concerns that people knew moms who had babies that were allergic to their milk ("that doesn't happen") or that they had friends who couldn't breastfeed (she rolled her eyes and said over 99% of women can but did not explain further). The class didn't even cover galactogogues or how to increase your supply.
The main points of the class were "dads, be supportive," and "dads, don't be unsupportive." I didn't learn anything new except that the lactation consultants don't check for lip/tongue ties soon after the birth unless you ask them to. However, there were two other women there with my due date, and they seemed to really need the info... I had just done too much research beforehand and was expecting something more advanced.
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