Stormageddon can't pee due to Stormageddon

Stormy's full name is Stormageddon, so it is cracking me up that the news and social media are using her name to describe California's storm right now.  A storm which is just all hype in my portion of the affected area.

In any case, Stormy can't pee in the rain... I think it's too distracting for her.  Today is no exception, and she hasn't pottied in 14 hours.  I decided to solve her bladder issue by resorting back to what we did when she was a puppy, and create a safe place for her to go out of the rain.

Oh look, a dry spot.

The plan has been a failure so far.  She has completely forgotten what puppy pads are for.

... wish us luck.

A Dairy Sacrifice

Today marks a week of being dairy-free.  

Is it possible to be addicted to cheese?  It feels like I am!  Nearly everything I regularly make has some sort of dairy product in it... and those foods that don't have dairy will often get a sprinkling of parmesan.  Mmmm, I make a delicious popcorn with olive oil, smoked paprika, and parmesan.  I'll try not to cry over my thick and satisfying homemade yogurt. 

Anyway, I'm not doing this for fun, or for moral reasons, or for my own dietary reasons.  My month-old son is allergic to something I'm eating, and the doctor is certain it's dairy proteins... there's nothing like blood in a diaper to scare first-time parents and give one the proper motivation for a major dietary change.  I may have to avoid milk products for a year.

It is now time for recipe experiments!

In an attempt to make the dairy-free life easier, I've been testing the waters with a few new recipes.  I only had one box of almond milk on hand, so the first thing I tried was making a homemade "milk" from oats.  It is oddly satisfying, but then, I like oatmeal flavor.

My favorite discovery so far is that breads seem to be easy to do.  I've used the oat milk in place of milk, and melted coconut oil in place of melted butter, and my pumpkin dinner rolls came out just as moist and tasty as usual.  And it turns out that my 2 favorite pizza dough recipes are dairy-free already.

My pizza experiment didn't go all that well, just making pizza but leaving out the cheese.  However, I did do one pizza with beans, veggies, and BBQ sauce, and it was palatable.  There's definitely room for improvement (next time, chicken instead of beans!), but I discovered that I very much prefer a cheese-free pizza if the sauce is not a red one... that way, I don't expect it to taste like pizza and I don't miss the gooey heavenly cheese as much. 

My parents came by last weekend, and cheered me up by bringing some dairy substitutes... 2 types of "cheese," a "butter," and an "egg nog."  Thank goodness there is fake cheese that melts properly!  Times have really changed since the last time I tried to go dairy-free a decade or so ago.


Do you have any favorite dairy-free recipes to share?

Crochet: A mystery, and a plan

A crochet mystery.  

My grandma made a beautifully complex-looking blanket for the baby, but doesn't know what stitch she used since she can no longer read patterns after a stroke.  She just made up the stitch, or had it stored somewhere in her subconscious!

Whatever it is, it's definitely cozy and super soft!

I can tell that the edging is a shell stitch pattern, because my first crochet project of a scarf used it.  But what about the middle?  Is it some form of shell stitch too?


In other news...

I've spent the past 2 weeks finally trying to really teach myself to crochet (projects 3-7).  Here are all the projects I have ever done: 

1. A 1-skein scarf.  (This was done probably a year ago.)
2. A perfect sphere.  (Done in February)
3. A newborn pumpkin hat & cocoon for a halloween costume
4. A newborn boob hat, for nursing hilarity
5. Another newborn boob hat for a friend
6. A 4-inch snowflake
7. A mini pumpkin

I'm just waiting for a larger tapestry needle to show up in the mail so I can finish weaving in some ends, and then I will post some photos and link to the patterns!

Assuming I have plenty of time before the baby arrives, what patterns should I work on next?

Feelin' Prodromal

Well, today's the day that our little womb dweller is due!  It is hard to believe that I've made it this far and that he's still in there.

We had an appointment with the midwife this morning, and she says the quality and strength of the contractions I've had periodically since the night of the 7th mean that I'm having prodromal labor... it'd be actual labor if the darn contractions would stick around!

The good news is that it's giving me lots of practice with breathing techniques, and labor is looking less scary because each time I have a real contraction I somehow get excited instead of nervous.  The bad news is that it's a bit tiring to suddenly realize "Omigods, this is it!" and then to have it fizzle out, over and over and over... makes sleeping interesting, since it mostly happens at night.  My prescription is literally to take naps and get as much sleep as I can.

So... can I say that I've been in mild labor for over 2 days?  Can I say that the lunar eclipse sparked it and that he's therefore a blood moon baby?  Guess it depends on your definition of labor.  And moon.  And baby.

Now we just hunker down and wait.

For the love of Mead, Part 3: Ceiling Surprise

Ryan came home and his first question was "have you looked at the ceiling recently?"

Why, no.  No, I haven't.  If I had, I would have noticed this:

Oops.

Those meady explosions were a little more powerful than I'd thought!  Luckily the kitchen has shiny washable paint and the hibiscus bits didn't stain. 

Anyway, today's the day I'm adding 1/2 of the remaining nutrients.  The fermentation has not slowed very much so far, which is awesome!  These nutrients will give the yeast another boost to keep them going strong.  I'm still aerating a few times a day and being extra-careful about more krausen clogging up the airlocks... and ending up on the ceiling. 

So far the Specific Gravity started out at 1.105 (adding more honey equals a higher SG), and it's now down to 1.090 (or maybe a bit less, it's hard to tell with all the bubbles!).  That means that the mead is already 2% alcohol after just 6 days, which is like a weak beer.  It certainly smells alcoholic already.

I'm expecting it to get to about 13.75% by the end... most wine is 12.5-14.5%, so this is pretty good for such a quick mead.

Trying to capture the Blood Moon

I played with the settings on the new camera all night to figure out how to take moon pictures.  I do not have a tripod or an ideal lens (just the 18-55mm it came with), but these were the best I could come up with....

(Click on it to see the full size)

The trick was to set it to F11, ISO 100, a 2-second timer delay (to keep me from shaking the camera more from the button-pushing), zoom in on the moon and let the automatic focus do its thing (it is far better than I am), and then to adjust the shutter speed based on how much light the moon was giving off at any particular time.  I'm particularly excited about the full moon photos, since I've never been able to capture that kind of detail before!

This was my worst photo, where I set the shutter speed so slow that I thought the camera was malfunctioning and I stopped holding it still out of frustration.  Oops.

It has its charms... nice October-appropriate colors.

In other news, spending so much time staring at the sky appears to have kicked these Braxton Hicks contractions up a notch or five.  Here's hoping that our little spawn doesn't take too much longer to get here.

I hope you enjoyed the lunar eclipse as much as I did!

Do you have any moon photos to share?

For the love of Mead, Part 2: Release the Krausen!!

I have always done my meads the "natural" way, using chopped raisins as the yeast nutrient, and using very high alcohol content (which kills off the yeast) and time to end the fermentations. 

This time, however, I'm going the sciency route!  So far I've added 2 out of the 4 lab-created yeast nutrients, which will help this batch of mead perform as quickly as possible so that it's ready in time, and then I'll also kill off the yeast at a specific stage and re-sweeten rather than waiting a year for them to die.

It turns out that these yeast nutrients are VERY effective.  Rather than feeling like a mead, it feels like I'm making a beer (which involves a violent fermentation and only takes a month)!  I could really use a few blow-off tubes, because every time I aerate the must (2-3 times a day), I get explosions of foam (otherwise known as the krausen).  I can only wear black clothes to avoid the inevitable stains.  And it ALREADY smells a bit alcoholic by day 3! 

Hibiscus foam escapes.

Ryan has suggested that I stop cleaning up the bright red sprays, and just consider it to be part of our Halloween decorations. 

Oh, for the love of Mead!

Well folks, it looks like the meadery is open again.

Wait, it was closed?

The past 2 batches of mead that I've made did not turn out very well... mead is very sensitive to exposure to oxygen, and the type I was doing took a year to make, and both batches had to be moved to a new house so they were exposed to a ton of jostling and aeration.

They acquired an off flavor... something kinda vinegarish as a smell and aftertaste.  Nothing harmful, and nothing you can taste or smell after you're already buzzed, but hey, I'm a perfectionist and it's disheartening to have one's secret wedding recipe taste sub-par.

As a result I haven't exactly been motivated these past few years to put a lot of effort into making booze.  There was too much going on, and too little success to spur me into action.  The type of mead I was making was not the cheapest either, and I hate throwing money down the drain.


Current inspiration:  A new recipe and a special event.

But now we're settled for a while, and if things go to plan, a new mead won't be subjected to any more moves!

I wanted to do a mead again this month, since we usually go up to Apple Hill at this time and get all the honey and apple cider.  That traditional plan is totally not going to work out though, considering that I need to stay close to my birth center.  Plus, there's a special event in 7.5 months that calls for a meady celebration, and the usual year of fermenting is just not going to cut it.

Instead I found a recipe for a "very crowd-pleasing" hibiscus mead that is supposedly ready to drink in 5.5 months.  This is FAST for a mead!  It is also brilliantly red.  Here's a test I did where I added the same percentage of hibiscus to boiling water to make a tea, to see how dark the resulting mead might become:

Whoa!  Much more red than I was expecting.  

This year I ordered hibiscus online, visited Costco for honey, and am using spring water instead of the usual mulling spices/local honey/cider mix.  I estimate that this will take the cost down to $3.50 per bottle ($1.10 is just for the empty bottle, normally we'd be reusing old wine bottles but this gorgeous color calls for clear glass)... not bad for a fancy mead. 


Baby's coming very soon, so it's time to get started.

Today was Day 1:  I created the must (the concentrated hibiscus tea plus honey) and pitched the yeast today. This is the most time-consuming task, and I'm due in less than a week, so it's a relief to get it done before we're too busy with our new spawnling. 

10 gallons of Stormy-approved beverage.

Haha, yes, I have them on a gardening cart inside the house.  My excuse is that my back and hips can't handle lugging 5-gallon carboys around at the moment, and I want to be able to work with them without bugging Ryan, so I had to get a little creative.

I also made a third carboy with a slightly altered recipe, so that leaves us with 15 gallons total.

There'll be more to do... I'll keep you updated on the progress!

• Day 1.5ish:  Add a nutrient - done!  This took less than 7 hours from pitching yeast, but I was asleep and did not time it exactly.
• Day 6:  Add first half of a nutrient mix
• Day 10ish:  Add last of nutrient mix
• Day 20:  Rack mead
• Day 36:  Rack mead and stabilize
• Day 49:  Add spices and back-sweeten
• Day 53:  Check that stabilization was effective
• Day 57:  Rack off spices
• Day 155:  Bottle... expecting to get 48 wine bottles for the event
• Day 162:  Taste-test any time after this date

Let's cross our fingers that this new recipe works!  It already smells divine.

Photogenic Dog

Whoa, with this new camera I can actually take photos of our black puppy without her drowning in shadow!

Poodle attention span level:  SQUIRREL??

On the left you can see the evidence of sunflower destruction, as mentioned yesterday. 

That is all for today... I am just having fun playing with the camera. 

Ghosts in the garden

In honor of the spooky month of October, I decided to do a little ghostly decorating in the garden.

Boo!

Okay, okay.  So it's not in honor of the upcoming holiday.  It's to keep those darn birds away from my mammoth sunflowers! 

So far we've lost about half our seeds because the darn doves pick them off and leave half on the ground which the squirrels then pick up.  Covering the remaining 3 heads of seed with cheesecloth was the only thing I could think of... and so far it appears to be working to keep them away.

I also just completely decapitated one, and it's drying out inside the house in a paper bag.  I think it was ready to be picked...

Short update on the solved plum mystery

The folks down at Trees of Antiquity (where the previous owners had purchased the tree) got back to me very quickly with some advice.

1)  Old plum trees almost never send up suckers from the roots, and there's no way to force it to happen.

2)  Any Asian plum within a half mile of ours will be enough to pollinate the Elephant Heart.


What this means is that I need to accept that we won't get that Marianna rootstock back.  On the positive side, that corner of the yard that the branch took up would be the most perfect spot for a small lifted fort or castle for our son (maybe with a sandbox or the quail hutch underneath?), since it would give a view of Mt. Diablo and the neighborhood while still being shaded.

It also means that perhaps we should wait to do anything until next season, to see if the Burgandy (also an Asian plum!) flowers for a longer period.  We did get very few Elephant Heart plums, which means that the Burgandy probably did do a tiny bit of pollination.

We could also just try some grafting anyway, for fun.  It seems like an awesome skill to have!

In a worst-case scenario, next year I could buy a baby Santa Rosa plum and take it door-to-door until I find someone within a half mile who wants it.  

PLUM MYSTERY SOLVED!

The discovery!

I was digging around in our "miscellaneous manuals" drawer to figure out what type of pool sweep me have, because I needed to order some swivels for the hose.  In addition to that, I found the secret to saving our plum tree from another fruitless year.

There is a paper in the drawer from "Trees of Antiquity," stating the heritage fruit trees in the back yard.
- Hauer Pippin apple (we already knew this was a Pippin)
- Ashmead's Kernel apple (appears to be long gone)
- Elephant Heart plum (otherwise known as a Blood plum), which according to the website is grafted onto Marianna, but they say it pollinates really well with a Santa Rosa.
- Santa Rosa plum (appears to be long gone)
(- Burgundy plum, which we planted and is very young)

I hadn't known the types of plum that were on the plum tree, so in delight I researched these cultivars.  Turns out that the "root stock" third of the tree that the landscapers cut off directly against our wishes was Marianna, and the 2/3rds remaining is the Elephant Heart.  Dang, that Marianna made the best jam.


But then...

There is one major drawback to an Elephant Heart plum... it is not self-fertile.  So when they cut off the root stock, they basically ruined the entire tree's ability to fruit!

They did give us another plum tree, but it is very young and does not flower at quite the same time as the Elephant Heart. 


What to do now?

It appears that I have 4 options.

1. Figure out a way to encourage the Marianna root stock to grow back.  Due to the severe cutting the tree had last year, it was supposed to encourage the root stock to grow back, but it did not.  There may be other techniques I can use, and this would by far be the most convenient method.
2. Wait until next year, and the next, and the next, see if our new young Burgundy tree grows enough to have more flowers for a longer period with which to pollinate the Elephant Heart.  They're both Japanese varieties, so they're compatible.  
3. Graft a Santa Rosa or Marianna to the Elephant Heart or Burgundy.   
4. Find and plant another Santa Rosa, and wait for it to mature.  This would be difficult, since there is not room in the backyard for a third plum tree, and we still have to find places for the potted pomegranate and meyer lemon.  I wonder if our neighbors behind us would accept a gift of us planting a baby plum in that corner of their yard.

What else to do?  Lots of deep breathing.  This new knowledge has ripped open the wound I felt when I first came home to discover that they'd destroyed the best-tasting part of the tree that made jam that tasted incredibly close to my grandma's jam.  Yeah, that may seem like an over-reaction, but I'm a nature-lover and trees are my buddies, and we told those landscapers specifically to leave the fruit trees alone.

I will just consider myself lucky that the mysteries of the plum types and missing plums have been solved.

Sunflowers

We have sunflowers, and they're actually making seed!!!

Mammoth sunflowers live up to the name.

All the ones I sprouted and planted died.  All the ones I planted along the entire western wall in perfect sunflower lighting refused to sprout.  All the ones along the northern walls did nothing.

But the ones in half-shade under the bedroom window, in the tallest bed, with the least sunflowery conditions, are the ones that made it.  Well, 5 of them did, and only 3 of them survived getting the heads chewed off too early.

I don't understand what Mother Nature is doing to my sad, sad garden this year, but at least there's a splash of color somewhere.

And now, for a darker sort of photo... I discovered that the new pair of doves in town have decided that the sunflower that is nearest to being ripe is their new irresistible playground.  I need to wrap the head in mesh or something to keep them out!  They've devoured or destroyed a whole half a head since I last checked on it 3 days ago.

And this is why I have trained Stormy to hunt doves.

A Patient Poodle Pup

Guess who watched "The Happiest Baby On The Block" last weekend?

I decided to practice one of the baby-soothing techniques, swaddling.

Stormy was extremely compliant and even seemed to like being swaddled, especially if her tummy's rubbed at the same time... although when I tried to jiggle her like THBOTB recommends for babies, she turned to Ryan and gave him laser eyes.

"Ryan, please just make it stop."

Well, I guess we have the swaddling technique down now.

A Social Experiment: Mini-Update

If you read the previous post on the Social Experiment, you'll know what I'm talking about.

I had another partnerless prenatal class, and this one was for breastfeeding.  For this class, about 30% of the women were there alone, which was a drastic change from me being practically the only single lady in the room.

The next experiment.

When we introduced ourselves this time, I wanted to try something more subtle.  I didn't even mention my husband.  I just introduced myself, and said that "we" were due Oct 10th.

Zero reaction from the class, for the entire session.  Nothing good (as when Ryan's "overseas"), nothing bad (as when he's "at work").  The single ladies after me did the exact same thing, leaving out mention of a partner but saying "we," and I noticed no discrimination towards them.

Conclusion:  the response may have been neutral because so many women were partnerless in this female-centered class. 

There's just one more class left to attend!



Heroic, my ass.

There was one thing that did change someone's perceptions of me.  I asked the teacher for tips on pumping, since I am planning on nursing and also pumping for a friend's baby (said friend is on a medication that is not compatible with nursing).  The guy sitting directly in front of me turned around several times to say extremely awkward stuff like "You're a hero!" or "What you're doing is really amazing."  You'd think I'd just defused a bomb that was about to kill hundreds of people.

Um, thanks, but I don't even know if I can make that much milk yet, and even if I can, it's not heroic.  I'm pretty much donating milk because

1. On a spiritual level it feels like it would somehow balance my previous inability-to-stay-pregnant pain to be able to lessen someone else's inability-to-nurse pain.
2. I can't give blood despite wanting to ('cause I go into shock after losing 1 cup and they toss my half-donation, and then I'm dizzy for 2 days), and donor milk is much more rare than blood so maybe that balances things out too.
3. Donor milk through a bank is ridiculously expensive (and pasteurized!) and nobody should have to pay $100/day for it.

Just visit kellymom.com instead.

As a side note, the class was completely underwhelming.  The two of us who asked for pumping advice were pretty much shut down with a "this class doesn't really cover that, it's about breastfeeding" (even though there is no pumping class, and lots of women there wanted to know more about pumping due to a planned return to work).  The lady dismissed concerns that people knew moms who had babies that were allergic to their milk ("that doesn't happen") or that they had friends who couldn't breastfeed (she rolled her eyes and said over 99% of women can but did not explain further).  The class didn't even cover galactogogues or how to increase your supply.

The main points of the class were "dads, be supportive," and "dads, don't be unsupportive."  I didn't learn anything new except that the lactation consultants don't check for lip/tongue ties soon after the birth unless you ask them to.  However, there were two other women there with my due date, and they seemed to really need the info... I had just done too much research beforehand and was expecting something more advanced.

Some puppy cuteness for the day.

There's not much to post about today, so I thought I'd just share last night's photo.

Stormy hates being under blankets, but she just got a pretty tight trim which makes it a bit colder at night.  I tucked her in while she was getting drowsy on the couch, and she didn't even care.

 ... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ...

Sometimes she's so cute it's painful to watch.

One Big Beautiful Poopy Rainbow

The last of the "essential" baby stuff arrived by today... the glider and the bulk order of diapers.


I'm a little embarrassed... I never thought I'd be the kind of person who got excited about diapers.  But here I am, lining them up by color, filled with glee.

So colorful!

After checking out a ton of different diapers in the store, we settled on bumGenius 4.0 snap diapers for a balance of ease of use, longevity, and cost.  They're theoretically as easy as disposables but without the poosplosions, should fit the kid from about 8lbs until potty trained, and with good care should last for another 4 kids if rumors are true.  (No, we're not planning to have 4 more, but we can resell them for a good price or gift them once we're done spawning minions.)  The diaper stash is further bolstered by a few used-but-excellent-condition mid-size prefolds and covers that were kindly gifted to us. 

Diaper prep has begun, but it is going to take a little while, probably a month as I work the bold colors into the regular laundry rotation.  The bold ones (orange, yellow, and dark green) must be done separately from each other on hot for a few loads, and despite my enthusiasm I'm not wasting water by just washing 3 diapers at a time by themselves.  *sigh*

Let's have a moment of praise for the man of the house, who is willing to get past the gross "poop in the washing mashine" thoughts and take the leap into cloth diapering.

Earthquake?

A few days ago there was that 6.0 earthquake in CA... no, we did not feel it or even wake up.  Earthquakes are not exactly a big deal for most native Californians who live near fault lines.

There's a clip that Ryan showed me a while ago of a news reporter who freaks out when he feels some tiny shaking whilst on the air, and says stuff like "Earthquake!  We're having an earthquake here!  Earthquake!  Earthquake!?"... so of course that became the joke of the day.

Stormy is convinced that "earthquake?!" is a new command, but she has NO idea what it is.  She tilts her head to the side in confusion every time we say it, even 5 days later.  It is hilarious, and we can't stop!  I am about to try training her that "earthquake?!" means "tilt your head."

Humans are so weird.

Freezer Meals: The Costco-Based Slow Cooker Meals x20

The Plan

Full disclosure:  I found this Costco-based freezer meal plan online, and have only altered it slightly.*  This previous post talks about my reasons for doing it, actual cost, and the rest of my meal planning for postpartum.

There are 10 recipes that serve 4 people, and each of them is doubled.  I'm not going to show the actual recipes since they do not belong to me (just visit the first link at the top!)... the purpose of this post is just to show you how easy it was to make these 20 meals at once, and to record changes for myself so that I'm better prepared next time.  So... what's involved?

The meals:

1. Chicken with apples and rosemary
2. Pork chops with apples and sweet potatoes
3. Sweet potato chicken curry
4. Italian chicken
5. BBQ chicken and potatoes
6. Sausage, peppers, and onions
7. Italian stew roast
8. Beef stew (I'll add a Guinness to these when I cook them)
9. Chicken tortilla soup (I cut this in half since the original recipe serves 8)
10. Chicken and sausage stew

The general instructions:

• To assemble:  toss all ingredients in a ziploc freezer bag, and remove as much air as possible.  Freeze.
• To cook:  thaw in fridge overnight, or in warm water for 30 min.  If partially thawed, cook on low for 8-10 hours.  If completely thawed, cook on high 6 hours or low 8 hours. 

Easy, right?


The Process and Timing:

2 hours:  Driving, running miscellaneous errands, driving, slowly meandering through a packed Costco, driving, a quick Safeway stop, driving, and putting groceries away.

30 min, for fun:  I made a cheat sheet of each recipe's basic ingredients and amounts, labeled and dated the ziploc bags, made up a taco seasoning blend, and set out all the ingredients and tools I'd need for a "before" photo.

That's a lot of food. 

3 hours 40 minutes:  Weighing, recording, chopping, dividing up the ingredients, and cleaning up at a rapid pace.  40 minutes of that was spent just removing skin from and de-boning the thighs, since that was the only type our local Costco was selling.  Is the cost savings of getting bone-in chicken thighs worth it?  Probably not, unless you really really want to make a bone broth.
 

4 cups each left over:  fat/skin and meaty bones.

I spaced the bags out across the counter and then did one ingredient at a time, so that I could divide extras evenly amongst the recipes that called for said ingredient.

Multi-tasking:  all the meats done first.

20 min:  Sealing the bags like a perfectionist, photographing them, and arranging them neatly in the available freezer space. 

So... 6.5 hours total, but if I hadn't wasted time out shopping and hadn't bought chicken thighs on the bone, it is really only 4 hours of work.  12 minutes per dinner!


The Results:

Ta da!  I present to you the 80 servings of slow-cooker freezer food, at $1.88 per serving.  The plan is to pair the dishes with basmati rice, salad, or smaller versions of my favorite homemade rolls (which are half-baked and then frozen for perfect freshness).

Impressive, no?

Of course, I had to weigh it.  All that food is a total of 82.83 pounds... 23.2 lbs of meat, 51.75 lbs of fruit/veggies/beans, 7.88 lbs of added liquids. 


I still have other freezer meals/snacks to make, but this puts a HUGE dent in what's left to do in preparation for baby time.  It's a great feeling to be so prepared food-wise... well, as prepared as a clueless first-time mom could be. 



Conclusion:  You should try this too!

I spread the work out over a whole day since my hips were begging me not to stand for so long at once, but under normal circumstances I could see myself easily doing the whole thing in a half day.  A half day's work in exchange for a month's worth of effortless weeknight autumn/winter-appropriate meals?  Do it!

Recommendations:

• Bring a buddy.  Chopping gets old right around the 2-hour mark.  You could split the costs and meals and end up with no meal repeats.
• Put the meat in last, it's not that great to let it sit out for 4 hours if you're alone (except maybe add the pork chops first, they were huge).  I was glad I partially froze stuff.
• To make it far easier on yourself:  get skinless/boneless chicken thighs and bring out the mandolin and apple/corer/peeler gadget.
• In the photo of all the meals, there's an extra bag... if you keep the best cuttings from onions, carrots, sweet potatoes, a few apple skins, and the thigh bones, you have the makings for 6 quarts of yummy chicken bone broth/stock (although I concentrate mine down to 2 quarts and dilute them later).  Just add a splash of apple cider vinegar (to leach minerals from the bones) and stick it all in a slow cooker for at least 24 hours.

As we taste the meals, I'll let you know what I think... or more importantly, what the man of the house thinks, because he is much more picky about his meats and leftovers.


*Alterations to the plan:

• Chicken and veggie amounts are slightly increased (most packages are divided evenly amongst the recipes)
• Organic full-size carrots (chopped) instead of baby carrots.  Instead of using 2.5lbs, I used 5lbs
• 8lbs sweet potatoes is twice as much as the recipes need
• Organic chicken broth (instead of the MSG-containing regular one)
• Organic stewed tomatoes instead of regular diced tomatoes
• Organic Kinders BBQ sauce... Costco was out of stock for any other BBQ sauce, plus Kinders rocks!
• Added chopped garlic (in bulk from Ranch 99) to recipes in place of garlic powder
• I made my own taco seasoning blend
• Basically doubled the spices for each recipe

Freezer Meal Mania

Part of the postpartum plan is to have at least a month's worth of freezer meals stored away. 

There are 4 different types of freezer meals I'm going to put together, and it's looking more like it should last us 2 months at least.

1. 20 4-person slow cooker meal kits (everything in a ziploc bag that I can just toss into the pot in the morning).
2. 10 4-person dishes that are ready to heat/reheat like lasagna, meatloaf, chili, black bean taco salad
3. 30+ microwaveable and quick 1-person lunch things like burritos, pizza muffins, calzones, spring rolls (depending on open freezer space)
4. (Whatever freezer space is left) Snacks and side dishes like half-baked bread rolls, lactation cookie dough balls, and stir-fry veggies.
5. Bonus:  An inventory of the meals and instructions for each one.

The obvious benefit to filling the freezers to the brim with easy healthy foods is that we won't have to cook or eat out!  I haven't done the baby thing before, but I am already pretty sure that I will really not feel like taking the baby out by myself to get groceries or answering the "what's for dinner?" question for several weeks.


So today I began the slow cooker meal shopping!

I ran across this "20 Gluten Free Slow Cooker Freezer Packs from Costco for $150" meal plan, and it looked darn easy because it gives you 10 (x2 meals each) 4-person recipes plus a shopping list.  There's an option to buy the plan for a few bucks, but I just opened each individual recipe on the website to record the recipe.

Recipes are all meat-based (a must for my husband!) and extremely easy to put together, usually taking just 6 ingredients... they're also a little bland-looking, so I'm planning to spice them up a bit.  They are mostly meant to be served with side-dishes of bread or rice, which is perfect considering my bulk purchases of flour and rice a few months ago.


And now I need a break.

After lugging around giant sacks of veggies and meat for a few hours at 8 months pregnant, my separating hip joints are more than ready for a break... even though my brain is clawing its walls in desperation to get started on the 20 freezer meals.

I will post results by tomorrow, complete with progress photos for your viewing pleasure.  The lady claims it can be done in 2 hours, but I will let you know how long it actually takes me as a first-timer.

Here's a sneak peak at all the ingredients...

SO.  MUCH.  FOOD.
(I removed all the extras from the photo besides 1/3rd of the yellow potatoes, 3/4th of the carrots, and 1/2 of the frozen veggies to the right... because I may add more of these into the meals)

How much did it all cost?

I was absolutely sure that it would come out to be more expensive than $150 as is stated in that website's plan (or $162 - $20 in unused food + $8 worth of coconut milk, extra tomatoes, and spices).  Our local Costco didn't have the sweet potatoes so I had to get them elsewhere for $10 more, the amounts of meats were not quite the same (16.5lbs of chicken instead of 12lbs, for example), and I switched out a few items for organic or MSG-free ones (like the chicken broth, BBQ sauce, veggies). 

The plan also leaves you with extras that aren't counted toward the total, like extra broth, potatoes, and BBQ sauce.  I already had the coconut milk, brown sugar, balsamic vinegar, extra home-canned tomatoes, spices, and fresh rosemary on hand.

It actually ended up being exactly $150 ($161 at Costco - $26 in leftover food and ziploc freezer bags + $15 at Safeway)... I have no idea how this ended up being perfectly accurate with all my upgrades, except that the chicken broth from the bottom of the cart is mysteriously missing from my Costco receipt. 

Average cost per hearty meat-based 4-person meal:  $7.50, or $1.88 per person.  Not bad!


I've done "once a month cooking" on a much smaller scale before, just 10 or so meals... this'll definitely be an adventure.



Have you ever made freezer meals in bulk?  Are there any recipes you want to share?

A Nesting Panic

Ryan says I'm nesting.  I am not sure where he got that crazy idea.  I am just on a frantic mission to get prepared for baby time, that's all.

Nesting is probably just another word for panic.  It hit me that I have just a bit over 6 weeks until due-date time.  If the baby were to come as early as my brother did, that could be just 2 weeks away!  EEP!


A baby-stuff spree ensued.

We are so lucky to already have a huge amount of baby stuff thanks to the amazing generosity of family and friends.  But nesting dictates that I complete the collection.

Last week we made the final round of baby purchases...

• With Amazon Mom 15% off baby registry completion discount:  random stuff like diaper pail liners, milk freezer bags, another crib sheet, baby monitor, etc.
• With Target 15% off baby registry completion discount:  glider, thermometer
• Cottonbabies.com bulk purchase:  24 cloth all-in-one diapers
• Amazon stuff that didn't qualify for the completion discount:  manual pump, flannel wipes
• Still to get once prices come back down or we've researched more:  moby wrap, diaper sprayer, nursing pads, camera

All the "needs" (essential for life:  car seat, diapers, place to sleep, clothes) are taken care of.  All the major "wants," meaning that they make life with a baby significantly easier, are covered.  I mean, it's not everything.  There are still a lot of optional and cool things out there like jogging strollers, holiday-themed outfits, swings, and toys... but that can definitely wait until later, if at all.

But wait, there's more!

There is so much more to nesting than baby stuff.  In the past week or so I...

• Developed a week-by-week calendar/plan to get everything baby-related done in time. 
• Finished all but one of my childbirth and prenatal classes, plus went on the birth center tour.
• Stocked up on non-perishables:  toilet paper, laundry soap, dish soap, dog food, etc.
• Installed car seat bases... that was a little harder than I was expecting, since I didn't realize there are special bars in the car made specifically for installing the seats.  Now it seems so easy!
• Visited old coworkers to show them the giant belly, since they knew how hard the fertility journey has been.  Travel leaves me pretty exhausted now, so I probably won't be making many more trips to see people.
• Organized the baby room:  waxed the antique dresser drawers, sorted all clothes and items, filled the dresser space, and moved 6-month-or-older items to the garage.
• Talked in depth with someone who's had 3 babies at the same birth center I'm using, and got some tips.
• Made a final list of hospital bag items to pack next week, and developed a birth plan.

Today I also finalized the details for a postpartum meal plan that I'll start on tomorrow... stay tuned!  I am darn excited to get started.  Ryan is pretty happy about it too, since it means we won't have to do much cooking for the first month or two after the baby arrives, and we can mostly just enjoy the time off we have together.


Did you ever nest when you were pregnant?  What was it like?

A Social Experiment

Social Interaction Weirdness

My first single-session prenatal class was kind of an eye opener... but not for the reasons one would think.

Out of an entire room full of people, another woman and I were the only two there without our husbands.  When we had to introduce ourselves, she said that her husband was "overseas in the military" and she got nods and smiles.  I didn't really feel like speaking about my husband's job even though he was also out of the country, so when it was my turn I said he was "at work" and people looked away and down.

I dismissed it, thinking it was my imagination.  I couldn't dismiss it for long though, because once we were broken up into groups (men vs women), I noticed that none of the other women would look me in the eye.  When I was asked my occupation I said that I was currently a stay-at-home wife, and the effect was amplified.  They showed no interest in what I had to say besides that extremely minimal obviously-fake politeness that women do when they don't want to talk with you, and their body language was pointing away from me.  Once we went back to our seats I noticed that the other partnerless woman now had people sitting near her, while I had a ring of empty seats around me in an otherwise full classroom.  As an aspie, I've had to train myself to notice these indicators to gauge how a social situation is going.  The social situation was obviously going straight down the toilet, almost to the point of ostracization. 

Maybe it was just me, and I was having an "off" night... it happens, I'm totally awkward.  Maybe it was the group of ladies, and they just were drawn to the other woman for subconscious reasons.  Maybe pregnant women are randomly bitchy because they get no sleep and are in constant pain (heck, I don't blame 'em, I'm right there too).  I didn't think much of it after expressing to a friend how weird the encounter had felt.


A Normal Event

For the next 3-session class, my partner (husband or mom) was able to come to each meeting.  Everyone had a partner.  The class was average, everyone equal, nothing of note to report.


The Experiment Unfolds

This week I had a different single-session prenatal class by myself, and I decided to test things.  Again, there was one other woman in the entire class besides me who was alone.  She described her husband as "at work" and received some mumbles and shuffling of papers.  This time I said mine was "overseas" (not a lie, but the implied "military" part wasn't exactly true) and noticed commiserating smiles and tilted heads.

When we came back from break, I noticed that the other lady had a halo of empty seats around her, and I did not.  Her husband then appeared right before we broke into groups, male vs. female again.  This time, instead of being left out and feeling socially shunned, the ladies were including me, specifically asking me more questions than any one else.  When I was asked my occupation and mentioned that I was a stay-at-home wife, the effect was amplified.  I was unanimously decided to be the group leader (against my socially awkward will and polite protests, I might add), to write down the group's game results, and then also to read out the results to the guys' group.  Any dumb joke I made was met with encouraging laughter and I felt like I had a laugh track.  I had become... the life of the party? 

When the game was over, the other single lady whose husband had arrived mid-class was no longer sitting in an empty halo, no longer untouchable.



The Remaining Question

This behavior confuses me quite a bit!  A stay-at-home wife with a military husband is welcomed and encouraged and made a group leader.  A stay-at-home wife of a husband who works odd hours and can't get time off is ignored and shunned and might as well not be a part of the group.  A woman is mildly socially shunned when her "at work" husband is absent, but is then on equal standing with the group when he arrives mid-class.

As you can see, there are a few potential variables here:

• Absent husband vs. present husbands
• Long-distance husband vs local husband
• Military vs. civilian
• SAHW vs. working wife

So... WHY?  I have results from the experiment, but no real conclusion.  Humans are so difficult to understand.

The theories:

1. People feel sorry for a pregnant woman who is physically separated from her partner for longer periods of time, so they give her preferential treatment to make her feel better?
2. A military man is of higher standing than a man who works a regular job with weird hours, and this reflects on his wife's social worth?
3. It is more socially acceptable to be a pregnant SAHW of a long-distance military guy than a civilian?
4. Pregnant women are hormonal and want to take it out on others, and a single woman is an easy target... unless her husband's in the military, 'cause he's badass and might beat them up?
5. There is no excuse for an absent husband (and his wife bears the social stigma) unless he's out of the country?  
6. The area is pretty affluent, so perhaps it's easier for wealthier people to get time off work... so a local husband not able to get out of work for a prenatal class implies that the woman is poor?
7. A single-yet-married woman in a room of couples is somehow a threat to the other couples... unless her husband's out of the country?
8. People socially gravitate toward similarity, and a military SAHW is more like a couple than a civilian SAHW?

None of these actually make sense to me, because I would not shun or gravitate toward a woman in my class based on her job or her husband's job/location.  I suppose this is where my aspie brain has issues! 

Why do you think this phenomenon exists?

Puppy Training: The Pool, Part 2

For Part 1, see this post.

Here we are at Attempt #2.

Stormy will love water.  She WILL.  Even if it takes half her lifetime.  I am just as stubborn as my grandpa, possibly more, and I'm declaring this to be a war against water phobia.  We will do this even if we have to start from the most basic of basics.  This method is so basic that it is primordial. 

The kiddie pool and hot dog method.

The theory here is that the dog doesn't know how to breathe properly in the water, and so she gets water up her nose and panics thinking she will drown.  This method teaches her to be comfy in shallow water, and how to breathe out while her face is underwater.  It makes sense because the first step to water fun and safety with toddlers is to get them comfy with putting their face in the water and learning how to blow bubbles.

Here are the steps I am to try.

Phase 1:  The easy part, intro to the pool.

1. Blow up the kiddie pool, let her get used to its presence.  Reward any approach toward the pool. 
2. Sit in the pool and convince her to come in with me.  Reward heavily.  This one is kind of a big deal since she is afraid of blow-up rubber anything because they move slightly on their own (the yoga ball, balloons, etc).
3. Teach her the command "get in the pool."  This shouldn't be too hard... she already knows the pointing hand motion that says "go there" which quickly taught her the verbal commands such as "get in the car/bathtub" and "go on the lawn/in the house" and "get off the couch" and "back up."
4. Teach her the command "get out."  Also easy for #3's reasons.
5. Have her sit in the pool.
6. Have her lay down in the pool.

 Kiddie pool = cheese consumption.  Anything for shredded cheese.

The cheap kiddie pool arrived last night, and I am happy to say that ALL of Phase 1 was completed!  Step 1 took a few minutes, 2 took maybe 2 minutes, 3 took 2 attempts, and 4-6 she got on the first try.  After some more practice, she appears very happy to get in there.

Phase 2:  Getting wet.  (steps 3-5 may be done concurrently)

1. Add 1/2 inch of water to the pool, let her get used to its presence, and then convince her to go in using command.  Reward heavily, this is a big step.
2. Make small round slices from a hotdog, and throw them into the water to retrieve.  The hotdog slices float, but when touched with her nose will sink and bounce around a bit, forcing her to learn to breathe out while her nose is underwater if she wants to get the treat.
3. Add another 1/2 inch of water (or 1-2 inches if she's doing really well) each day until the pool is full (about 9 inches), continuing with the hot dog retrieval and the "go in the pool" command.
4. Have her sit and lay down in the pool at various water heights.
5. Add dive toys (I already purchased balls that sink that have floaty soft tails on them) and tennis balls, teach her to retrieve them until she is comfortable.
6. Play with her in the pool, splashing more and more each time until she is comfy with being splashed in the face and finds it fun.  Fun play for her is actually a bigger draw than a food treat... but it has to be her version of fun.  (She already thinks it is the funnest game ever to play with sprinklers/hoses, so a hose will probably be involved.)
7. Add the dog life jacket, and repeat steps 4-6.

Phase 3:  The hardest part.  (Use her life jacket for this phase)

1. Use the "get in the pool" command with the large pool.  Reward for approaching and sniffing the pool, and for understanding that the little pool and the big pool are both pools.
2. Toss a hot dog slice in the kiddie pool to retrieve.  Then toss a larger hot dog slice in the big pool to retrieve.  Reward extremely heavily for entering the pool, since this is the biggest step of all.  Keep sessions extremely short and don't keep her from escaping the pool immediately after eating the treat.  If this doesn't work after a few days:
1. Gently bring her into the pool on the shallowest step, have her retrieve 1 hot dog piece and then let her out.
2. Slowly increase distance of tossed hot dog until she is willing to jump in from the top step.  (She is already willing to jump in from that step to come to us, as she sees us being safer than the step.)
3. Attempt to get her to enter pool from outside again.
3. Attempt to quickly transition rewards from floating hot dogs to hand-feeding treats and fun stuff like ball retrieval or retrieving dive toys from the shallowest step.  (The goal is to keep her from ingesting too much of the pool's salt water.)
4. Practice and play until she is comfortable and her swim stroke is effective.

Phase 4:  Bonus round.  (Remove life jacket for this phase)

1. Remove life jacket, and repeat all of Phase 3 until she displays proper control in the water and minimal discomfort.
2. Progress to deeper dive toys, and practice and play until she is comfortable.  (I expect this step to take at least the entire next summer.)
3. Expose her to other bodies of water until she's having fun... a full bathtub, a shallow pond, a lake, mild ocean waves. 
4. Profit?  Profit looks like:  Stormy enters pool on command, doesn't panic, doesn't try to climb us, and exits successfully in and out of our presence before she tires herself... and I feel complete comfort leaving her outside unsupervised alone around the pool.  
1. Bonus points if Stormy joins us in the pool of her own volition and enjoys playing in the water.

Well, there you go.  The most ridiculously slow method for introducing a dog to a pool that I can come up with, which has up to 31 steps.  I will update as major milestones are passed or if I have to drastically change the plan.

Wish us luck.

Puppy Training: The Pool, Part 1

The pool is Stormy's worst enemy.

When she was in her "phobia development period," I was walking laps with her around the pool whilst on the phone.  She fell into the cold water just a few feet from the exit, and the look of horror, desperation, and "FIX THIS PLEASE" was the most emotion I've ever seen on an animal's face.  I called her to the steps a few feet away and she was able to jump out.

Of course, when summer arrived and we tried bringing her into the pool, it was all terror.  I decided it was most important that she learn how to exit the pool so that I could trust her outside by herself, so the focus that summer was to hold her in the pool until she calmed down, give lots of praise and treats, then let her get out on her own.  After doing this all summer I was pretty confident in her ability to exit, so one day I tipped her into the pool and ran inside to watch from the kitchen window.  Despite probably a hundred successful exits while I was in the pool with her, she managed to panic to such an extent that she went the wrong direction and just clung to the edge of the pool, crying and tiring herself out.  If that happened while I was away, I would come home to a drowned puppy.

Now it's her second summer.  

She is even more terrified of swimming than before... and she's stronger.  She sees the humans in the pool as safety rafts, so she will go to the nearest person and claw at them in a panic to climb them.  Her heart rate goes out of control.

This is a huge problem.  1), she could easily drown a child.  2), she could easily drown herself.  3), she's a poodle, a freaking water dog!  4), I want her to enjoy playing in the pool or lakes with us, it is excellent exercise especially when she becomes elderly. 

Something has to change.

Attempt #1

We bought her a dog life jacket.  It is pretty awesome.  It keeps her floating, and even has a piece under the neck to keep her head further out of the water.  It even has a handle on the top so you can grab her easily or guide her in the direction you want.  This will be so useful if we take her kayaking or out in public!

The theory behind this plan is that if a dog has to work too hard to float, then she panics and can't focus on developing the swimming technique that gives her control in the water.  So you take away the possibility of drowning, and her anxiety lessens, and she learns to use her front and back legs in a coordinated manner that makes swimming far more effective.

Please, please take this off.

This didn't work at all.  She is completely unaware that the life jacket is helping her out and that she doesn't have to work so hard to float.  I believe that she is panicking even harder when she's wearing the life jacket.

Stay tuned for attempt #2...

Stuffed Zucchini

This was so delicious!  So delicious that we didn't pause to take a photo of the finished product.  Here's what it looks like the next day:

A pale reflection of last night's glory... but still just as tasty.

As an added bonus, 1/6th of this recipe without the cheese is only 269 calories.  One half of this recipe was enough to feed 3 very hungry people, so that 1/6th of a batch is a really hearty serving.

Ingredients

• 1lb hot Italian sausage
• 3lb zucchini, as large as you can get them
• 1 jar marinara sauce
• 1 large yellow onion, chopped
• 2 cloves of garlic, chopped
• 1tsp dried basil
• 1tsp dried oregano
• black pepper
• salt
• mozzarella, shredded (optional)
• parmesan, shredded (optional)

Directions

• Preheat oven to 350.
• Cut zucchini lengthwise, scoop out innards with spoon (leave walls 1/4-1/2 inches thick).  Chop the zucchini guts and save for the filling.
• Cook and crumble the sausage.  When sausage is almost finished cooking, add the onion, garlic, basil, oregano, salt and pepper to taste.  When onions are translucent, add the zucchini innards and cook another minute or so.
• Lightly pepper the cleaned zucchini halves, then fill evenly with the stuffing.
• Spoon marinara liberally over the top of the stuffed zucchini.  I really didn't think it'd take the whole jar, but it did!
• Cover top snugly with foil, and bake for 40 minutes.
• Optional:  Remove foil.  Sprinkle with a layer of mozzarella, then a layer of parmesan.  Broil on high for a few minutes until bubbly and slightly browned.  This gives it a very lasagna-like flavor.

We have zucchini!!

Well, I had been hoping that I'd come home from a few weeks of vacation and have a magnificent bounty of new veggies.  Very very few of the seeds that I'd planted actually came up, and nearly all the fruit on the tiny plum tree fell and rotted (grrr), but the good news is that 2 tomato seedlings are starting to look stronger, we had a handful of tomatoes on the older plants (but 4 plants died!) and the zucchini are actually producing a bit.

I have just 2 zucchini off of 4 plants, but so far this is the best harvest of zucchini in one season that I've ever had... 3 pounds!

SO EXCITED about the weird striped one!

The dark green zucchini is 1 lb 15.3 oz (and 13 inches not counting the stem), and the cocozelle (striped) one is 14 oz.

Tonight I make stuffed zucchini for the first time... if it comes out tasty, I'll share the recipe.  I'm kinda mixing together several online recipes 'cause I want onion and herbs and the zucchini seeds in there, and 'cause don't have breadcrumbs.

Beef Jerky Recipe: The Spicy Favorite

Ingredients 

This recipe is for about 2 pounds of meat.  To your uniformly and thinly sliced low-fat meat add:

• 1/2C soy sauce, low sodium*
• 1/2C worcestershire sauce*
• 2.5tsp honey
• 2.5tsp freshly ground black pepper
• 2.5tsp onion granules
• 1tsp red pepper flakes (or 2.5 for extra spicy)
• 1tsp liquid smoke, hickory
• 1tsp garlic, minced

*If you're just a little short of marinade, add 50% soy sauce and 50% worcestershire sauce as needed.

Directions 

Let it all soak in for about 12 hours.  I like to use two 4-cup square plastic containers and split the recipe, doing half spicy and half extra spicy... but a sturdy ziplock bag would do the trick.   If possible, squish the meat and mix it up in the marinade every few hours.

Stretch out meat in the dehydrator without letting pieces touch each other, and set to 160 degrees.

I've had this same recipe take 7 hours, 5 hours or 3 hours!  It depends on the thickness of your strips and ambient temperature and something else magical.  Stop the machine and let the meat cool for at least 15 minutes to see what it looks like BEFORE you think the meat is done, since cool jerky is more stiff and dry than hot jerky.  You do not want to overcook this!

When the jerky's done, it should still be pliable, but when you bend it the meat fibers stretch apart and turn white as the larger clumps of fibers begin to separate.  If you rip a piece in half, the meat will have these white fibers throughout its thickness... if the meat snaps in half, it is overcooked.  If the room temperature jerky does this, try a bite and see if it's to your liking.  If the meat was too fatty, you can use paper towels to dab off the extra fat while it's still hot.

Storage

Once it's ready, let the jerky sit for another half hour to finish releasing moisture and store in an airtight container after squeezing as much air out as possible.  Plan to eat it within a month.  Either keep this at room temperature OR in the fridge... once it's been in the fridge/freezer and then warms up, you'll find that you have a moisture problem that turns quickly into a mold problem.

Things that will shorten the lifespan of your jerky:  too much fat in the meat (turns rancid), exposure to air, exposure to moisture, and sharing. 

Seriously, be wary of sharing unless you like making jerky.  I share, 'cause I like making meat-loving people happy, but even 6 pounds of meat with this recipe will never last longer than 2 weeks.  I have been told by 4 people that this jerky is better than anything store-bought or homemade that they've ever tried.

Apple Blueberry Crumble Pie

This recipe makes the best fruit pie I've ever tasted!  My husband actually thanked me for not cooking it often because he'd be very, very fat.  I improvised the recipe quite a bit since I wanted something less sugary (but it is still very sweet) and more spiced than usual.

I had never mixed fruits in a pie before, but was trying to put a different twist to the "gender reveal food" craze by using blueberries for boy or raspberries for a girl.  Just so happens that blueberries (and huckleberries) are my husband's favorite...

Yep, it is actually 4 inches tall.  Stack those apples high!

The Recipe

Crust

• Any frozen 9-inch deep dish pie crust*

Filling

• 1 C frozen blueberries (fresh would work, but frozen are cheaper!)
• 5-7 granny smith apples
• 1/4 C sugar
• 1/4 C brown sugar, packed
• 3 T all-purpose flour
• 3 slightly mounded tsp ground cinnamon
• 2 T butter, room temperature

Crumble topping

• 1 C all-purpose flour
• 1/2 C sugar
• 1/2 C brown sugar, packed
• 3 slightly mounded tsp ground cinnamon
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 6 T butter, chilled, in thin slices.

Directions

• Preheat oven to 425.
• Thaw the pie crust by setting it on the counter now.
• Thaw the frozen blueberries.  I microwave them for 1.5-2 minutes.  Press the berries just a bit and drain the liquid out and discard (or drink).  If you don't drain them, your pie will definitely be spewing purply sauce as it cooks.  Distribute blueberries evenly across the bottom.
• Mix the following filling ingredients:  sugar, brown sugar, flour, cinnamon.
• Mix all the powdered crumble topping ingredients, then add the chilled butter slices and mix until the consistency is that of wet sand.  This can be done with a pulsing mixer, but I like to do it by hand (about 5-6 minutes) because it is super satisfying to play with wet sand. 
• Peel and core apples, and slice them thinly.
• Pile that thing as freaking high and tight with apples as you can!  Put the larger slices around the outside edge like bricks in a tower, and use the smaller broken pieces in the center.  After each layer is put down, add a little (maybe 1-2 very heaping tsp) filling mixture as a layer of mortar.  Channel Tetris.  (You don't have to use all the filling mixture... if you have excess, use it on the next pie, on top of buttered toast, in oatmeal.)
• Now take the 2 T of room temperature butter, and plop bits of it into 5-7 pores on the top between apples.  This will just melt down into the filling later.
• Apply the topping evenly, hiding all evidence of apple slices.  This is easier if you start with a cupped handful of topping and press it to the outside edge, then draw any excess up.  It's like building a smooth sand castle.  Fill all crevices, and firmly pat the thing smooth and beautiful.
• To cook:  Bake at 425 for 15 minutes, then lower temp to 350 and bake for 35 minutes.
• Cool on the counter for at least an hour before serving.  Can be refrigerated for up to 2 days before the pie-eating event.
• If this is a gender-reveal pie, pick a neutral color (I used black) of frosting and just cover any spots where berry juice leaked through.  I made 2 pies the first time... one turned out great with just one teeny leak, and the other was a volcano of berry liquid because I didn't drain the blueberries, so just be prepared.

*Note:  I may be awesome at pies, but having a pie tin I'm not afraid to lose at a gathering means I just never make bottom crusts from scratch.  I should probably learn to do this.

An exercise in hope.

Before we left for the trip, I went on another planting frenzy to see if anything would pop up.  A sacrifice of wine to Demeter, benign neglect, automatic drip-system watering, cooler temps, and the lack of a digging puppy should be enough, right?  I mean, it works for growing hair.

Unfortunately I have not had the best of luck with sprouting seeds or keeping baby seedlings alive, which I am totally blaming on the unpredictability of the weather (seriously, it's been 107 one day, then down to the 50's at night!).  The only things doing well are half the tomatoes, and the beans.  I didn't actually plant beans, they're volunteers from last year, but I let them grow because the cukes have not been successful under the trellis.

Here's the run-down of what I planted (most of which is a re-planting after failed seedlings).

• Tomato cuttings/seedlings
• Dragon egg cuke
• Lemon cuke
• Lemon squash
• Lakota squash
• Culinary sage
• Genovese basil
• Marigold
• Calendula
• Nasturtium
• Mammoth sunflower
• Malabar spinach
• Toscano kale 
• Chard
• Turnip
• Radish
• TONS of cilantro (this herb was my husband's only request, I gotta make it work!)

Please, please, please let some of these be alive when we return.  My gardening luck has been frustrating thus far.

Everyone has plums besides me. Mystery solved though!

Just an update to this plum-tree post...

I've discovered the cause of my deplorable plumlessness.  The neighbors next to us have a very full older plum tree that is just bursting with plums that look exactly the same as my plums.  Theirs has borne fruit every year.

Therefore it is not Theory 1, that there was a lack of pollinators.
And it was not Theory 3, that the tree is so old it has started to only produce every 2 years.

By process of elimination, Theory 2 wins, that the landscapers just hacked off so much mass that the tree is still stressed and in survival mode (despite us asking them to not touch the fruit trees).  We had to trim the tree again this year because the landscapers did it incorrectly last year... we cut off the branch that was crossing and digging into the other branch, and cut some height off (WHY DID THEY CUT THE WIDTH?!  I'm still slightly bitter about my fruit harvest).  So I don't even know if we'll have fruit next year either, this poor tree has really had a hard time. 

Do you want to see the wiggly little newborn? Important info inside for family and friends.

California just announced the whooping cough epidemic this week.*


There have been pockets of whooping cough in our area, but now it's grown into an official epidemic.  This makes my PSA a little easier.

On doctor's orders, we are not to let the baby be around anyone who has not been vaccinated for whooping cough/pertussis until he has his own immunity by 2.5 months, even if the person is currently symptom-free.  She also highly recommends the flu shot, but we're not gonna push that since it's not as life-threatening.

This is kind of a sticky situation, since our little shark baby is due Oct 10th and will be vulnerable through Thanksgiving and Christmas, the most social time of the year!  I'll be making the rounds sometime in August, asking everyone individually what their vaccination status/plan is so I can be better prepared for navigating the holidays.

How can you tell if you're up to date on the vaccination?  

If you've had the Tdap or anything with the word pertussis in it within the last 10 years, you're good to go!

If not, the Tdap is should be provided for free through insurance, or without insurance can be found more expensively at pharmacies like Walgreens and CVS (prices vary quite a bit between companies).  The vaccine takes 2 weeks to produce immunity. 

What if I'm anti-vaccine?

I realize this can be a very sensitive subject to people who can't or won't vaccinate.  The options recommended are that you can wait until after the holidays to meet the baby, or we can find other ways for you to see him.  Webcam, Facetime, video, or photos? 

 

The latest action shot.

What are your vaccination plans?  Can I add you to my list of 13 friends and family who are already vaccinated and planning to visit with the baby over the holidays? 



*I like having an actual link to point to, so it seems more legit and less like I'm just a bitchy bitch-face.

How to make perfect slices for homemade jerky.

Jerky-making has been a snap since I found out how to do this:

Mmmm... 4 pounds of meat.

All you need to do is freeze your meat, then thaw it overnight in the fridge.  It'll be half-frozen, the perfect consistency for being firm yet easy to slice.  You have to move somewhat quickly once it's slicing time, or else the meat will start to get too wobbly for uniform slices toward the end.  Meat that's half frozen is also perfect for cutting out the normally difficult fat and gristle, which you really don't want in jerky anyway.

A sushi knife helps too, but any non-serrated sharp knife should do.

I've been fiddling with jerky recipes, so expect to see a couple soon. 

Classing up the place

Our laundry room is super tiny, with two giant washing machines (thanks Craigslist!), and the only way we could get them to fit was to rip the ugly brown-olive cabinetry out of the wall.  Turns out that the cabinet was built in before the house was ever painted (and honestly the paint job in the rest of the room is bad so it goes well together), so now there's a big unpainted section on the wall.  It... it looks like a dungeon.

We decided to just go with it.  I hung a little red lamp that has cage-like black bars, and a few of my grandpa's old rusted bear traps.  Various torture devices, candles, scientific glassware (gifted to me, not stolen from lab!), and laundry items line the shelves.  A giant 2-person saw leans against the wall.  Velvet curtains hang at the back, the color of drying blood.  A long horizontal mirror placed at head-height reflects the horror and futile desperation in your own eyes back at you as you begin the arduous task of folding laundry.

So then I whipped out the Halloween decorations to see what might fit.

True Blood and a fuse box... sure, it could work.

Someone gave me this magazine, and I broke a picture frame around the same time, so as a joke I put them together to accent the "bloody horror" bathroom decor at the old house for Halloween.

I dunno, maybe it would actually work if I put matting around the magazine. 
What do you think... a muted gold to subtly contrast with the blood?  Or a dark maroon matching the curtains, to highlight the blood and really make the pale skin pop?

... Yeah, someday I'll actually paint the room.  But it's more fun to have a torture chamber.  Obviously, this is not the blog to come to for fashion or decor advice.

Just a little bonding moment.

Stormy's been extra cuddly lately.  But... sometimes I get the feeling she's snuggling the bump instead of me.

My puppy baby cuddling my shark baby?

Training a puppy to walk on a leash... SO HARD.

Typically when Stormy and I go on our 2-mile hike, we enjoy the freedom of leashless fun.  There are fences along both sides of the trail, so she can't go far, especially since I've trained her that the fences are not to be touched.  Sure, she chases any squirrels that cross her path (and there are a ton, I think they all have a death wish), but it hasn't been too bad.

Something changed.

Then she went into heat for a particularly long time.  The poor pup was practically house-bound on doctor's orders until a week after it was over, so she wasn't hiking for over a month.  It could have been that she was just not used to the hikes anymore, or that the heat changed her personality, but whoa, off-leash was no longer an option.  She'd chase after anything that so much as twitched, and go around the corner and disappear.  Not acceptable!

And so, I began walking her with the leash on at all times.  We had also decided to go on a camping vacation this month, and all of the trails that allow dogs require a leash, so she really needed the practice.  It was awful.  She had completely forgotten any sort of manners, and was pulling on the leash at all times.  After walking a mile with her tweaking my spine, the SI joints in my hips would be screaming and I'd be walking with a limp.

Not only that, but she became willfully disobedient.  She'd tense as she saw a squirrel or bird, I'd tell her no and to stay, and she'd stop and look at me.  Look me deep in the eye, then give me a big "F you" and bolt after the squirrel.  I could actually see the moment of her decision to disobey a command.  I realized we were in a battle of wills, and that she was winning!

What to do?

That was when the hardcore training began.  Walks were no longer fun time.  Stormy could not run free with her doggy friends on the trail or do anything remotely interesting.  And around the house, I began asserting my ownership of the space by walking "through" her instead of around her (this was actually recommended by a trainer as a baby-prep step)... this trains the dog to pay attention to your movements too.  After each really intense lunge after a person or dog, I would hold her face and stare her down with my Look Of Death until she gave up the struggle.

There might have been tears of frustration.  There might have been cursing under my breath at Stormy's behavior and my hips.  There might have been exclamations about investing in a shock collar.  We might have turned around and gone home less than halfway through each walk because I didn't want to see what would happen if I reached my breaking point.

The method I used was to stop every time she pulled, until she stopped pulling.  EVERY freaking time.  This meant that for the first 2 weeks, we would stop after every 1-3 steps (that is no exaggeration).  Every time she got excited about a bird/squirrel/dog/person/bike, she would have to sit until her energy calmed.  The third week, we would stop every 3-4 steps, and I would tell her "heel" and make her come back to me.  I could not use treats as a reward because she won't pay attention to them on the trail, but I figured out that her reward was to continue forward movement.  By the end of the third week, she understood what "heel" meant, even though we were still stopping every few steps. 

All of a sudden, by the 4th week, it clicked!  She started being able to hold the "heel" for a few steps, then a few steps longer.  By the end of that week, 50% of the walk was done with slack in the leash, and she was only lunging at wildlife and middle-aged men.  By the end of week 6, 80% of the walk was nice and calm with no pulling.  This was far better, but was still really hurting my hip joints, and was not nearly good enough for longer hikes and camping.

The right harness would have made it easier.

Who me?  I'm a good puppy.

Then I got an "Easy Walk" harness (as seen in the photo above, the red chest strap)... didn't even realize these things existed.  Instantly walks were 90% good behavior.  It's like a martingale collar, which is a fabric choke collar (very common on poodles since they have such thin necks and can slip out of collars), except the choke part is across the chest.  This means that when she pulls, it constricts her chest only and restricts movement of her front legs, which really gets her attention and takes away her pulling momentum.  The location of the leash attachment also means that when she pulls, she is pulled to turn and look at me.  A week later, which is where we're at now, walks are 95% good behavior... over a 2-mile walk, I only have to remind her to heel probably 10-15 times, she only lunges once or twice after wildlife directly in her path, and walks are pleasant again.

In retrospect, I definitely would have purchased the right walking harness from day one... I didn't even know they existed, but I bet I could have cut the 2-month process into just a few weeks.  Ah well, at least we got to a good place before the camping trip begins!